When I was younger I had a heart like Multiple Man: with a single kiss I would create a dupe to leave with you, Boy, when I flew away to another country. And to another boy, a boy to whom I would give my heart's dupe again.

But now that every dupe of my heart is separated from me by an international border, I find that I clutch my heart close and don't let anyone make a copy. I fear that the dupes are getting less potent, but longer lasting: maybe the next one will tie me down to one place or to one person, but the place or person won't be a "The One." I'll be stuck in Pleasantville.

I hope that that's only because I haven't reached my destination yet, wherever it is.

My friends keep texting me about how awesome singing Celine at karaoke is, or how being at Panama City Beach dancing your ass off to Gaga is amazing. I am not w/ them on gay-cation b/c I am taking the weekend to study like a Good Boy for my exam in 2 weeks. I am all, "Who gave you this number, you total BETCHES?" <3

Just had the kind of day at work that makes me ask, "What happened?"

Ever since the summer after freshman year my academic and professional skills have plummeted. Maybe I should go back in the closet...

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

In happiest news, the Kylie concert was BITCHING. I love that woman and her mix of dance pop, dance ballads, and dance dance.

And I'm not the only gay who does! There was a theatre packed full of them on Sunday night in NYC (one was meeee!). "In fact, it was packed so full that straight people weren't allowed in without a gay escort." That is what historians will think when they look back on the ticket sales that night, because there was not a straight seat in the house!

Awesome!

ABSTRACT:

In this abstract I am going to prove that I am still a teenager like Miley Cyrus and Degrassi and all those actors on Gossip Girl. This is how I am going to prove it:

1) Teenagers Live in the Same Town as Their Parents

Yes, most teenagers actually live in the same house as their parents, but also some teenagers are emancipated and live on their own in an apartment with a sketchy old man that they have to call "Big Papa." But these sketchy apartments are still in the same town as their parents because teenagers are poor and have no money to buy Uhauls to move their asses out of sketchy, old-man Parentsville!

LIKE ME!

2) Teenagers Have Acne

All teens have acne. Those models on the Clearasil ads are not teenagers, they are 38 year-olds whose skin is taped back so that you cannot see their wrinkles. And that hot preppy boy with perfect skin is a) actually trans and b) has backne which is acne on their back which is worse than acne.

I HAVE BOTH!

3) Teenagers Have Mood Swings

"The teenage years are an emotional roller coaster ride, so buckle up!" This is how my needlessly saccharine Middle School principal decided to prepare the parents of his sixth graders for the consequences of raising your children in a suburb where they have no needs or wants and are definitely going to spend their time emo-ly whining about how their lives suck and that Stephanie Meyer is the only one who understands them and this is because they didn't have to turn tricks on the corner to buy blankets for winter and are therefore spoiled and still alive.

MY PARENTS STILL NEED THIS ADVICE!

4) Teenagers Like Twlight

BUT IN MY DEFENSE I THINK IT IS SELF-PARODY-ING AND ALSO THIS IS A GOOD REAL PARODY: http://xlormp.livejournal.com/13908.html#cutid1

In conclusion, I am Gossip Girl and I am going to tweet about all your secrets. xoxo

I love you, Taz!!!!

I think I've probably used that title before... Anyway, this post is basically me bitching in order to achieve some sort of catharsis. I've lj-cut the moaning so that you only have yourself to blame if you find yourself suddenly covered in emo.

( WARNING: Emo Stains )

older guys. i think i've blogged about how most relationships in tally are inter-generational, thanks to FSU and FAMU. last night i had a hook-up that supported that theory.

this boy that i've known (ish) for almost a year gave me some signals at the club and I am a kisser so we started making out and it was... sweet. and then, when we took a break, my friends made comments about how they would need to find a different ride and that i should fuck the shit out of him. so i did.

WHICH WAS HOT. He's spent his years on earth taking care of his body, let me tell you. boyfriend did not have a scrap of fat on his body and his biceps were... so cut. The only downside to it is that he might have that disease that makes you workout and lose body fat. however, because i'm a QAF generation gay, i know that it's okay to have relationships between our peoples.

The only thing is that now that I've contributed to a comic zine and experimented with podcasting, I'm losing my readiness to die. I'm contributing to the world now, and i don't want to stop.

but i said i'd see him again. (even though his hotness is the only thing that I really know about him) but i'm going to have to take a bedroom role i'm not used to next time, so i'm a wee bit apprehensive. but he is WAY HOT.

I was going to type about new thoughts about exes here, but they read this journal, so NOPE!

anyway, boys are scary and fun and they rule! <3 the internets!!!!

The world has opened its doors of awesome for me now that I am a Trekkie and a Who-vian and a Babylonian. On Friday I went to a panel on Queers in the Whoniverse and said awesome things about the male gaze and lesbian de-objectification in the new series and all the lesbians got boners and all the gays fainted when I gave them my salacious winks.

Then on Saturday I saw the Babylon 5 panel with VIR and LONDO and, best of all, IVANOVA!!!!!! Claudia Christen is so mean and hilarious that I want to to be her Con bodyguard just so I can hear all the witty barbs she no doubt tosses around like sprinkles at an ice cream party..

On Sunday, however, magic happened. I woke up SUPER early for the Nemoy panel and it was going along great until it was crashed by WILLIAM SHATNER!!! Spirk then proceeded to enter into a Abbott-and-Costello-ian banter that culminated in Nemoy telling us that Star Trek has more layers than a parfait and Shatner telling us that football is healthier than watching TV.

You know, sometimes i just don't get his humour.

After the surprise Shatting I went to see Kate Mulgrew (a.k.a. Janeway) give an sixty minute inspirational speech about women in science and then marry a couple of cute gay trekkies who thought that they were trapped in the Delta quadrant. It was seriously the hottest panel of the Con: by the end I wanted to bone gender equality so hard that the Glass Ceiling would become know as the Anthony Has Blue Balls.

And then after THAT amazingness I went to the PICARD panel!!! I was seriously OD-ing on starship captains, but PS is so mellow that I was able to chill out, cool down, and giggle about him pulling Gates McFadden out of a rock by her boobs. Oh Patrick, she's a doctor, not Boob-scalibur.

Monday was shopping!

Good-bye Con, I love you with all my Viagra!

_\\//
ASK

Dear Insurance Filing Makers,

When you want to file a really shitty response to the questions I sent you, please call me first. I know you think I am an idiot who doesn't understand your cool new program, but actually I am just trying to get your half-baked get-rich-quick scheme to follow statutes. If you call me we can talk about the statutes, how to alter your program so that the statutes don't apply, or I can explain that statute that doesn't make sense to you!

But if you don't call me, I will disapprove your filing for being shitty and uncooperative.

So please, when you think I'm being dumb, ask me why. The law may be stupid and I may be stupid, but until you try to get along with me, you're stupid too.

<3
Me

PS - http://hijinksensue.com/2009/09/02/x-tweens/

One day I am going to get married,
But I don't know to whom.
And no matter how hard I search
I can never find any spoilers!!